1142: All That Glitters....

It is 8:07pm.

Levi is getting the kids to help clean up the bus right now. He's the best.

Today I spent almost the whole day writing my "art blog." Making videos, uploading them to YouTube, editing "professional photos" of my pumpkins, adding watermarks, and then posting the blog and debating whether or not to spend money on boosting the blog so that people will actually see it and maybe even read it. THEN... if they read it, hopefully they will be attracted to my work and buy some of my books and or paintings. There is a lot that goes into being your own "business." But I love it.

Not all my blogs will be that flashy. I do want to catch people's attention, but I want to stay authentic too. 

I know it is important in business to brand yourself, but how do you brand yourself when you are still trying to find out who you really are? I love art. I love writing. But I don't like feeling like I have to be a product for people to want to buy my art or writing...does that make sense? It just feels fake. Marketing feels gross. I am literally paying money to get people to notice me, and I'm not the hugest fan of that.

 On this blog, I just write to write. Which is really nice. I don't have to impress anyone. I don't have any expectations. It is just me talking about my day, or talking about the things that interest or bother me...and every once in a while I try to be inspiring. (Although, I feel like lately I have been less and less inspiring.)

Excuse me while I vomit all my random thoughts tonight lol. I just had a friend remind me that I need to stay true to me, and that not all that glitters is gold....

I am just at such a pivotal moment in my life where anything could happen. The only thing that is holding me back is me. And these last few years I felt like I really lost "me." I mean I did....sort of.

Part of me died when Elijah died. I am finding some of the old Kelly here and there as I go--she is not completely gone. But Elijah's death really shook things up. It changed my perspective on life. And it took me out of a game I thought I was winning, and put me back at square one.

I am still learning and growing every day, but I genuinely hope that I have found my calling in doing art, because I love it. And I hope that maybe I won't have to rely so much on "boosting" posts and marketing games someday, but I guess it is just part of the process.

I am also really looking forward to this retreat. I can't believe it is less than one week away. I feel totally prepared and unprepared at the same time...lol. Kind of like everything else in life right now, anything could happen. I just have to breathe, try my best, and let life happen.

Please keep sending love, because I need We Travel to send me the information my bank needs Monday, so my money will be freed up by the time I leave Thursday morning.

Everything will work itself out. I have faith.

Alright, I am going to wrap this up and get ready for bed.

Sending you all lots of love.

Go change the world. Do it for Elijah.

Thank you.

Hi sweet boy.

I love you and miss you so much.

You are the best baby.

You have my heart.

Always.

<3