I had vowed to return everyday and pray in that orange field....but then this little thing called life happened and I ended up working a 50 something hour work week and only returned to the field once.
But some good did come out of this week.
I managed to get a Sunday morning off for the first time in ages, so I decided to go to Church.
I brought my 4 year old son Julien and my 10 year old son Alex with me.
Julien is quite rambunctious, so my plan was to leave him in childcare, which he likes to call, "church play."
But when I got there I found this on the door:
The nursery was closed.
Ugh.
Now I was 20 minutes away from my apartment with a 4 year old who was dead set on "church play" and I had an hour Mass ahead of me.
So I decided to let them play while I took a deep breath and prepared for the next hour of, "sit please, " or "shhhhh," or my most popular saying, "keep your hands away from your brother."
And then a miracle happened.
A lady showed up and placed this sign in the grass and went to open the classroom door.
Praise Jesus....lol.
And then I headed in to the beautiful quiet church, hoping not to be distracted, and mostly hoping to stay awake.
You have to remember that this was almost a week ago, so I don't remember much about the Mass that day, but I do remember a little girl who was sitting in front of me and Alex playing some type of penguin game on her ipad that looked very entertaining.
I thought about how I always had a hard time paying attention as a kid...not just at church...but everywhere.
So I tried my best to really listen, and to find something that would set my soul at ease.
The priest at this one particular church is actually pretty funny, and very down to earth, so it really helped me focus.
However, when he was discussing the Gospel, he talked a lot about spirituality vs religion and at some point, I think he lost me...
But none the less. I did leave Church that day feeling a little bit better about things.
And my sons left extremely happy because we came on pancake breakfast day!
Earlier, I mentioned returning to the orange field...
and I did.
This time, I took no notebook.
I really said no prayers.
I just silenced all thoughts and cleared my head.
I walked around with my camera trying to capture the little things that stood out to me.
Then I thought:
"God. If you are here. Then will you please show yourself."
(But please not in the spirit type way with visions and all that...I am not ready for anything like that. I think I would have been so frightened I would have peed my pants..lol)
Now, I am not trying to test God...or whatever you want to call it, and I wasn't doubting him either.
I would have believed in him no matter what happened that day.
But something caught my eye about this tree.
And as I moved closer I found this little guy.
OKay....so its a dove.
A brown mourning dove to be exact, which is the most common type of dove known to man.
BUT, even though I am not the most knowledgeable believer, I know that doves are a symbol of peace.
I walked right up to this bird, and spent a good five minutes standing right below it admiring its beauty.
It never once moved from the branch it was sitting on.
Could it be God showing himself?
Maybe.
Or Maybe it was just a dove.
Either way I have decided that maybe you don't have to know everything there is to know to believe.
Maybe you don't have to have all the answers.
Maybe sometimes its just better to have faith and step out on the ledge and let things happen.
So, I am going to continue on with my project. (I had never really intended to stop.)
I will continue to ask for help funding it: http: //www.gofundme.com/kindhartusa
And even though I am having to push my project back, I have not and will not give up on it.
As always, thanks for your support!
I am super excited about tomorrow :)
Kelly Airhart
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