its been a long day without you

It's 9:13.

It has been a long day.

I got up at 6:20 to see the sun rise as a part of a grieving photo project.

I came back home and Julien was just waking up and was not feeling well. He had a fever and a cough so I have him some triamedic (however you spell that). An hour later, after some ice cream and cartoons, he tells me he has bug bites and I looked at his legs and freaked out. He was breaking out in hives. I instantly drive him to the er.

They took him back immediately and have him shots and had to start breathing treatments. I cried.

I just lost one son, so of course my mind went to dark places. But the nurses were so great and kept both me and Julien calm.

After a few hours and a second dose of medicine we were able to go home. I am so happy he is ok.

I love my children and I hate to see them in any type of pain.

My anxiety has been through the roof all afternoon and tomorrow we have to return back to Florida so I am kind of an emotional mess right now..

Elijah. I miss you. I love you. Be There with your brothers. Watch over them. I need them. They are what keeps me going. Without them I honestly don't know how your dad or me would be holding it together.