Thursday, November 12, 2015

google.

It is 11:42 pm.

I got off work just a little over an hour ago and I really should be getting ready for bed.

I woke up having a hard time this morning. I think mainly because I read some interesting articles last night on reincarnation. There are mothers who believed their babies were returned to them in future pregnancies after their babies' original passing.

They said that these children reveal things to their moms, things they have been told nothing about, but that were about them and their mother from their last life as a baby...And the mothers believe that God gave them a second chance.

And yet here I am on my period...definitely not having a baby..and not getting another chance.

Ok...judge not.

You think you google crazy things when you are pregnant, you can't imagine the things you google when your child dies.

Anyways...

I know Elijah is at peace and in heaven.

There can't really be any reason for him not to be.

But that doesn't mean I don't miss him.

The night Elijah passed away I googled miracles of people coming back from the dead. Sadly, since Jesus, there really hasn't been much of that happening....

But when you are desperate you look for any reason to have hope...and to speed up the process of seeing your lost loved one again.

Anyways, I asked for prayers and well wishes this morning and then Gabriel and I did an act of kindness and I wrote another Love, Elijah Blog and I started to feel better.

There is just so much mystery and wonder about the afterlife. I hope for Elijah it is as wonderful as it is supposed to be.

Either way, I sense that he is at peace.



Elijah. I hope you know that your crazy mom loves you so much. I will never stop loving you. I will live my life for you and make it beautiful somehow. I will do it all for you. 

I miss you sweet boy.



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