Paris is under attack.
I am sitting in my bathtub crying and feeling completely helpless.
The earth is spinning out of control and there is nothing I can do about it.
My dad just called and was worried about me. I am trying to stay strong but I was already tired and anxious before this whole thing started.
My nerves are just on edge. I was already tired and being on my period is just evil and cruel.
It is a nasty mokery of not having my baby.
I don't want to take it personally but I don't have any control of it happening, and I'm a bit of a control freak, so my world is just spinning out of control right now.
And now Paris.
Today is world kindness day.
I wanted to feel good today. I wanted to feel like I could make a difference in Elijah's memory. But tonight I go to bed wondering if I'll ever make a difference.
But that won't stop me from trying.
Elijah. I need you now more than ever. But perhaps Paris needs you more. Please shine your love down on all of us sweet baby. I love and miss you so much.
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