I know I said I wouldn't be writing about anything other than Jesus or whatever during Lent, but I am going absolutely mad in my mind, and don't know who I am supposed to talk to about it...so I will blog....
I woke up this morning to the news of someone I know losing a baby...possibly to SIDS. And it is like it threw me back down into the deepest depths of grief.
I am having a really hard time today and I am trying so hard not to. I feel alone and crazy. This is grief. It is a nasty little shit that just sneaks up on you and jabs you in the heart when you think you are doing so much better...
I just feel hurt and confused, angry and sad, shakey and anxious, and tired. Also strangely determined, but not able to focus.
I just want to fall apart, be hugged, eat my weight in junk and know the answers as to why shit like this has to happen.
Please pray for the family affected by this loss. Pray for the baby.
Send love to me...It's been a rough day...
Go change the world for Elijah.
Thank you.
I am so angry at this girl in this picture...
She had no idea how lucky she was.
I miss you Elijah.
I am so sorry for all the time I wasted trying to figure out my life,
when I should have just been so happy to hold you.
Why does this happen?
Why did we have to lose you?
Why does anyone have to lose their child?
I am so broken today...
Please send love.
I miss you so very much.
I love you more.
Always.
<3
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