Tuesday, March 12, 2019

1281: Faith

It is 11:27pm.

I don't know where I read this, or how much it really applies to my "Jesus study" for Lent, but there is a vast difference between faith and hope. Having faith is believing without a shadow of a doubt in something. Hope...is well...kind of just really wanting things to work out even when it seems like they might not. So do you have faith, or do you have hope?

How far down does your faith really go?

Are you willing to believe in the "unrealistic?" Are you willing to hear messages and accept the wild and supernatural? Are you willing to follow the calling in your heart? Are you willing to step outside the box created by other humans to love deeper and forgive your neighbors? Are you willing to have faith in the other creations of God?

Or are you living the life you hope is going to get you to Heaven....

Sending you all lots of love.

Go change the world. Do it for Elijah.

Thank you for reading <3



I feel like I have been just living a life of hope
since you passed away Elijah.
Bobbing up and down,
trying not to sink in the ocean of grief 
that I have been drowning in.
Trying to find the sunshine,
when honestly the waves just keep covering my head--
making it harder and harder to breathe...
I don't know what I was doing coming back here.
I feel like I have just been reaching and reaching...
trying to something to hold onto.
Being told by so many people what I need to do,
and just how important it is to find work and make money for my family...
to be "realistic,"
When really, what I should have been doing is looking for myself...
or maybe even God...I don't even know anymore. 
I am so embarrassed.
I just wanted to make you proud and provide for your brothers--
and all I have been doing is wasting time.
I'm so sorry.
I love and miss you so much.
Always.
<3 






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