Call me crazy...

It is 9:52pm.

I am trying to write a blog for tomorrow's first motivational monday for Love, Elijah.

I needed to take a break, because I am having a hard time finding the resources I need on the internet, and I might have to rethink the whole entire blog now.

I was going to talk about how each person's grief journey is unique...which I will stick to..but I was going to talk about how different personalities grieve differently.

I mean, I have some good information out of one book I have, but I wanted a more rounded blog, and I wanted quick and concise little spouts about what each personality needs while grieving...and I don't have any of that...

But anyways...like I said, I needed to take a break from it...so let's take a break from it...

In just a few days we will pack up and get ready to go back to Florida.

We haven't found a place to live yet, but that is actually okay...

Okay, bare with me as I am about to sound crazy, but I think this is the year I talk myself into the tiny house I have always wanted...and not just any tiny home...a school bus tiny home.

I know, I know....I can hear my parents groaning now.

Listen people, it is not a forever home...but it will be a great way to experience life for a little while while we figure out how to get our forever home.

There was an article today I found about a guy who made his for only $9,000.

You've got to open the article to see the bus, but it is adorable!

http://www.today.com/home/road-man-converts-189-square-foot-school-bus-home-see-t63626

I think we could do it too.

It will have to be mid or late february before we can start, but I am going to feed into this crazy idea and start a gofund me tomorrow, and see where it goes....

The funny thing is, as soon as I read the article, I found a weird since of hope and peace that put me in such a better mood...

Anyways, now that ya'll all think I am totally nuts... I will talk about the rest of my day.

If you are in Natchitoches, I really hope you got outside today and enjoyed this beautiful weather!

The boys and I went and did one last hike at Long Leaf Vista and it was so peaceful.

We even got to see a family find our little "fairy tree" that we placed there as our act of kindness about a week ago.

While we were out there I took lots of pictures, and I decided to focus all my photos on "finding the light."

Here are a few that I took:

Today felt productive. 

Today felt better.

Today I felt like I connected with Elijah in nature and with the light. 

Today I decided that I really don't care if people think I am crazy, because my dreams are mine, and I have a crazy enough husband and kids that support me...lol.

Oh sweet sweet boy.

Even on my better days I look at your picture and think how we could we lose such a beautiful baby?

All I can do is push forward and honor you...right?

I feel like that is our best option...maybe not the best...but the best we have.

I don't have all the answers, but I do know that I love you like crazy and I will always.

I miss you my boogie.

<3