We Have A Long Road Ahead of Us...

It is 11:44am.

Today is the day we head back to Florida....

I have many doubts about going back...even when I feel like we have made Florida our home over the last few years.

I just wish there was some type of magic wand to wave and make us have enough money or enough whatever we need to get a house...

Maybe I will win the powerball today...but that is certainly dreaming beyond the clouds...

I prayed for it this morning...I prayed a Hail Mary and asked to win...

just because..I am THAT desperate.

I sincerly asked Mary to pray for me and that I would use the money to do good. I really would.

I don't want a mansion, or even a fancy car or anything crazy...I just want to be able to have a nice home and be able to help people...and with that much money, I think all of those things would be more than possible...lol.

Anyways, I have to remember to stay in the present and figure out how to enjoy each day and not succumb to the worries of tomorrow right???

Wooosahhh....

The kids are outside cleaning my car...I guess...my dad made them do it, so that is good...one less thing for me to do.

I have most everything packed up and ready to go... I am just waiting on clothes to wash and dry, and for the dumpster to reopen so I can go bring garbage...

I have been productive this morning.

All good things.

I am ready for a positive change and I hope it comes soon...

I really really do...

I haven't given up yet, even though BELIEVE ME, I really want to sometimes.

Here's hoping and praying for that powerball win...and if not, something significant that helps us get to where we need to be.

Even though I have tried very hard to stay positive this morning...I am feeling quite blah :/

So just pray...pray for me...pray for my family...and always pray for Elijah.

Oh sweet boy.

I am so sorry.

I miss you so much.

How did we ever get here?

How do we get out of this mess?

How do we move forward?

Today is just really hard and emotional..

Shine down on me boogie.

I need you

<3