Donut Day

It is 10:40pm

Last year's National Donut Day was much different than this one.

I'll save all the birthday stories for his birthday, but I am so glad we have this silly day to remember his birthday with....even if it isn't the actual day...

It is another sign for him, another something to hold on to.

Thank you for those of you who incorporated donuts into your acts of kindness for Elijah's birthday. It was really awesome.

All of you who have shared these acts of kindness in Elijah's memory, actually, have been really awesome.

You have given me hope.

You are what is pulling me through right now.

You are helping us change the world in Elijah's name and keep our promise to him.

You are amazing.

Thank you.

Just keep them coming, and please keep praying. Pray for me. Pray for my family. Pray for The Love, Elijah Project. AND ALWAYS, please pray for my Elijah.

Elijah, these are the days I feel like I should tell you I am sorry the most.

If I had just taken you that day and dealt with trying to handle both you and your brother, you might still be here and we might be planning on what to do for you on your big day instead of what to do to remember you.

I don't know what to do. 

This is so unfair.

I want to be able to hold you and take you somewhere. I want to feed you cake. I want to take all the silly pictures. I want ANYTHING other than our reality right now.

I miss you so much and it is more and more everyday. 

I want to be happy for you on your birthday. I want to celebrate you, because you are my baby boy and you deserve to be celebrated...

I don't even know what to say.

Visit me if you can....if not I understand.

I just hope God throws you one Hell of a birthday party, because I can't