This City is Behind You

It is 11:29pm

Today has been a nightmare.

I woke up and my dad called.

He asked if I was near the shooting...

I had no idea what he was talking about.

The shooting at a nightclub, he told me that the death toll had just raised to 50.

And then I started my research...and it wasn't just a dream.

It had happened.

There was a shooting at a local gay nightclub and it had not only killed 50 people, and another 50 something had been injured.

I literally crawled into a ball on top of Levi and just cried.

I don't even think right now I can find the words to say how I made it through this day, or how I feel about all of this.

I have posted over and over all I can on facebook, I did what I could to help...but I still feel helpless.

Maybe tomorrow I will have the words.

Tonight I just hope and pray that somehow love will find its way.

I pray that these families who lost their loved ones find some comfort in knowing that there is a whole city standing behind them.

Please pray for these families and countless friends who have lost someone they loved today due to senseless acts hate and violence.

I don't even feel right about asking for prayers for my family...but please always pray for my Elijah.

I am trying so very hard to change the world for you,

but somedays it just seems so far away and so hard.

I just feel lost.

Please know that I am trying so hard...and I will continue to always.

Send some love to all these mommas and dads who have lost their children. 

And give a big hug and love to your new friends in heaven.

I love and miss you so much.

I would have given anything to share the swing I saw with you today.

It is the big things.

It is the little things.

It is in everything that I look for you.

<3