Today is Julien's seventh birthday, so today I managed to watch some Spongebob, eat some pizza, and go to the playground, and that was my productivity level.
I hate to even include this, but I woke up with major anxiety today. I mean I was having a hard time breathing. At one point, I had to lay down and close my eyes to calm down. It was pretty rough.
I called and set up an appointment for my grief/ptsd.
I got to talk to the actual person I will be seeing and she let me ramble on for a few minutes and then very calmly and kindly helped me book an appointment next Monday.
It was really nice hearing from the actual person I was going to be in a session with. It put me at ease a bit.
I also paid some bills today, so of course that didn't really help with the anxiety because money is so tight....but it was Julien's birthday so I powered through all of it, and once we got out to the playground I felt better from being outside.
Seeing Julien happy today really made it all worth it...lol. He kept saying, "It's my birthday, so I get what I want today." Lol.
Of all the callings that this world could possibly bring, being a mom is most definitely my favorite.
Happy birthday Julien! You have brought us seven years of laughter. We are so blessed to have you.
Oh sweet Elijah.
The morning you passed away, we were all up really early for your first feeding.
Julien woke up with us and he told you that you were the best baby ever.
He was so sweet to you.
He loved you so much.
Send him some sweet dreams for his birthday.
We love and miss you so much sweet boy.
<3
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