I just finished watching season 25 of the Amazing Race, and I just started on the fourth chapter on my new book I am writing.
I have spent most of my day writing.
I feel like even though this book is not the calling I have been speaking of, it is still therapeutic to write.
Right now I am very critical of it, and I feel like it is more "fluff" than substance.
It might be slightly motivational, but I don't feel like it will be Earth changing.
But I am going to push through it anyway and see what happens.
I am still waiting for some answers from people I have reached out to regarding their specific callings, but I did find this link that I posted this time last year and I wanted to share it with you:
When do you know something is a calling from God?
I think the article is really cute and uplifting, but I don't know if it really answers my question of why I feel so "called" to travel.
What could I possibly do while traveling that will make the impact I need to change the world?
I don't even have the money to pay for the gas to get to another state right now without jeopardizing our livelihood. So I will just keep writing and researching, and asking for prayers until I figure it all out....because right now I am lost.
I do feel like my promise to change the world for Elijah is part of it all, and kindness is definitely tied into it, but I have a problem with just jumping into things without planning and it has not worked so well for me...
Anyways, I am pushing myself to finish this book I am writing within the next 5 days and then to first publish it as an ebook, and then self publish as a paperback.
I am hoping at the very least, without much advertising, that libraries find it interesting enough to pick up and put on their shelves...
I have also been thinking a lot about this art therapy studio and what I need to do to get it back on track.
I found some neat items I am going to look into making for our etsy shop that hopefully will draw in more attention, one being a "certificate of life" for those parents who have lost their baby to still birth or miscarriage and did not receive one from the hospital. The other is a Christmas ornament with the babies face some how modge podged on it. The ornament will take some practice for sure.
I have also thought of learning to make memorial art on the beach as I have seen other photographers do, but I don't know how to get people interested in any of these without advertisement, and right now, I can't afford to advertising.
It will all come together one way or another right?
It has to...
Sorry for the verbal mind dump. I'm not sure if any of this made sense...lol. I'm still pretty tired.
Please continue to pray for our world. Pray for my family. Pray for me. And always always, pray for my sweet Elijah.
Thank you.
I remember how excited I was to take you swimming for the first time!
You don't look too thrilled by this photo, but I was so sure you were going to be a water baby just like your brothers.
And we did manage to take you swimming a few more times than this.
I just miss you so much.
I wish I could pick you up from this picture and raspberry your stomach and make you giggle.
I wish I could hear your sweet voice one more time.
Today someone randomly liked my video of you on instagram and I just stared at it for a good minute or so.
It is so bizarre to see you move on my phone screen, knowing I will never see you move again in real life.
Bizarre and sad.
Good night sweet boy.
I love you.
<3
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