Love, Popeyes

It is 11:02pm.

How am I still awake?

We had such a busy day.

We went to New Orleans with my mom and ate beignets, went to the aquarium and took a little river boat cruise, had ice-cream and then came back and the boys went swimming...

This was their birthday present from my mom, and it was such a blessing.

There were some really hard moments, like going to the aquarium without Elijah, but I pushed through the anxiety and managed to have a pretty good time.

But I am really glad the kids got to have such a great experience today--we all kind of needed it I think.

Today was a bittersweet day, as I learned of more tragedy going on in the world.

It has been a rough few months it seems for everyone and it weighs heavy on my heart.

I continue to believe that love is the answer, and even through all of this sadness and craziness I have continued to see love shine through the cracks.

Knowing how much these moments mean to me, and how much joy they brought in troubled times, is why I think it is so important to continue spreading kindness every day in Elijah's memory. I wish I could do more, but if you keep stacking pebbles eventually you will get a hill, and someday maybe a mountain.

Anyways, tomorrow is my doctors appointment to talk to someone about ptsd or whatever other ailments of grief I might have...

I am super nervous and know that I am going to have a break down, so please pray for me.

We also have to head back to Florida which is a long and exhausting journey and money is really tight right now so that makes it even more stressful...so pray for that too.

I am trying to stay positive, and I will continue to study and look into callings and purpose.

I have a few articles saved to read and some people to send questions to....

But for now, I need some sleep.

Please say a prayer for our world. Pray for those who have lost their loved ones because of senseless hate and violence. Pray for those who risk their lives to try and make others better. Pray for all of us to come together over all of this and stop pushing each other apart.

Pray for my family. And always always pray for my sweet Elijah.

Oh sweet boy. We missed you today.

I am so glad your brothers had so much fun, but we missed you.

Dad just told me that Julien told him earlier that you would have been "little trouble."

(Julien's nickname is Big Trouble)

I am so glad they still include you...lol...even in their bad boy ways.

I love you so much my boogie 

<3