Whatever happens... happens

It is 6:27pm.

I am sitting by the pool at my mom's apartment and watching the boys swim one last time before we head back to Florida.

We are trying to get them to burn up some energy so they will sleep most of the trip....

Here is hoping anyway.

Gabriel is currently trying to clean pine needles out of the water and the other two boys are playing marco polo.

There is a moth flying in and out of the flowers.

I am trying to slow time down because I am really not looking forward to the drive back to Florida.

Once we get back our little "vacation" will end, and reality will start again.

I am going to have to find someway to bring in an income and my doctor didn't show up today for my appointment, so the possibility of getting disability benefits (if they are even available to me) have been put on hold for a little while...

I guess what ever happens, happens at this point.

I plan on writing and making some more ebooks until I can afford publishing...but that is slow money and not guaranteed by any means.

I could start cleaning houses or something...and make my own hours.

Or maybe get a cardboard box and make a sign...I mean I have every right to--I wouldn't be lying.

But I still feel this stirring in my soul to plan for something BIG.

I don't have a clue what that is yet, but I won't stop until I figure it out.

Tomorrow...after I get some sleep I will start a schedule for myself for writing and reading/research...

Right now, I guess I should savor my last few minutes of "freedom" with my mom and the boys...

Please pray for a safe return to Florida. Pray for our finances. Pray for my family. Pray for us to find a way out of homelessness soon... And always always Pray for my sweet Elijah.

This was the first picture I took of you when we got to Florida.

I wish I had spent more time with you.

I wish I could have given you more out of your short little life.

Now it is time to find a way to give more to your brothers.

I miss you so much.

I love you my boogie.

<3