375: Moving

It is 2:18pm.

Now that we have told most of our family, and the people we wanted to tell in person, I guess I can tell you guys...

We are moving back to Louisiana.

Womp. Womp.

Please know that this is not a total defeat, and hopefully it is not permanent, but even with both of us working it was just not going to work out at this time.

The things that brought us here are no longer the things that are holding us here. But the things that are holding us here are going to be very hard to leave behind.

I have grown to love Orlando.

I love the gym that Levi and Alex have been attending and the support they have offered my family. They are amazing people. Seriously, if you are in Orlando check out The Jungle MMA and Fitness.
I am going to cry when I take Alex to his last lessons tomorrow. I don't want to have to take him or Levi away from that place and it is probably going to be the hardest thing for us to walk away from. I am crying just thinking about it.

I love the hiking trails and the beach and the natural beauty all around us. I so glad I found these things when I stepped outside my Disney bubble and found that there is so much more to this city.

I love that I found a group of women who are dedicated to spread love and awareness for pregnancy and infant loss. I am so sad that I will not be there to participate in the big walk they are working so hard to plan. It felt great to be a part of something like that and know that I was helping them make a difference.

I love all the amazing people I have met throughout my time here who have been so wonderful to me.

I love all the theme park visits and the good memories we have had at them.

I love Lake Eola Park and the times we have been able to help the homeless there.

I love that Elijah lived here and it was the last place I held Elijah. This is another thing that makes this so difficult. I almost feel like I am leaving him behind some how, even though I know we aren't.

I love going to Publix...lol...and no one knowing who I am...seriously going to miss this more than you will ever know. As much as I love kindness and people, I also love the anonymity I have here.

I love being in a place so big surrounded by people of so many different backgrounds. My mind and heart has grown in so many ways because of this.

I love that this is a community that has shown great love for each other. #orlandostrong

Like I said, it is going to be so hard to leave all this behind. Orlando has been our home for 5 years now, but the housing market here is tough and expensive. And the jobs that I can get don't pay what I need to survive without working so much that I never see my children. And I need to see my children more so than ever...

So the black hole of Natchitoches has sucked us back in.

But we have not given up.

Levi and Alex will join the MMA gym there. It will be ALOT different, but it will be a place for Levi to spar and practice and hopefully get him fighting soon.

And I will still homeschool my little weirdos ;) And keep writing.

Beyond that, I don't know what is going to happen. But we will be closer to family I guess, and it will allow us time to breathe.

It will be about a month before we get settled, but if anyone has a couch they don't want or need anymore I might need one...and a bunk bed, and a twin size bed, and some dressers...lol (I have a table!)

Thank you for your support in such a difficult time. It has really hit me today how hard it is going to be. We are leaving Wednesday.

Please keep praying. Pray for our world. Pray for my family. Pray for me. And always always pray for Elijah.

Are we making the right decision Elijah?

I don't know anymore.

I don't want to go.

Please shine down on us boogie.

It is going to be a hard week.