407: Pass

It is 9:30pm.

I am about to wrap up Alex's little pies in some cling wrap, and then get some sleep. Tomorrow is another Green Market Saturday..

I guess I should have prefaced that with the fact that Alex made little tie-die pies to sell at Green Market tomorrow to hopefully aid the boys' Hawaii fund. He did a great job and I hope he sells a few. He is excited.

Anyways, I am emotionally drained today. I don't know if it is my period, or all the abortion debating going on, but I am just really out of it tonight and I just want to cry.... 

Also, I am away from Levi, so that doesn't help. I am having separation anxiety pretty bad. 

Today has been one of those days were even though a lot of things have gone great, my heart is hurting and I am just wondering how I am going to make it through me entire life like this.

I'm not going to act on any of this, and AGAIN, I do not need a straight jacket, it is just how I feel today.

I didn't do the Capture Your Grief Project today, because it is about relationships, and I am not in the emotional state to talk about that right now. This has nothing to do with Levi. I assure you our relationship is stronger than ever. It's just that I really have the hardest time letting go of the anger I have towards the people I feel that just abandoned me when I needed them the most.... Maybe I will talk about it tomorrow, or maybe just skip that day all together. Who knows...

I'm sorry guys, I know I am being depressing....

I just really don't feel all that great. Maybe sleep will help.

I'm going to go work on Alex's pies and maybe take a bath before I try to get some sleep.

Please say a prayer for my friend Laura and her sweet girl Adaline who would have been one today. Adaline also passed away from SIDS and is one of Elijah's little friends in Heaven. I hope they had one heck of a birthday party up in Heaven. <3

And as always, continue to pray for our world. Pray for my family. Pray for me. And always always pray for my sweet Elijah.

Oh my boogie.

I just want to hold you again.

Life is so hard.

It is beautiful,

but it is hard.

Today has been especially hard.

I just miss you more than I can put into words.

But I will always love you more.

<3