Tuesday, October 25, 2016

411: Sounds, Scents and Seasons

It is 9:27pm.

As if the upcoming holidays aren't hard enough...today It seemed like every possible news source on my Facebook page seemed to be posting new studies about cosleeping and SIDS.

Either that, or someone I know lost someone they loved and I am just choking on air trying to just breathe.

I'm not saying this stuff for pity or whatever. It is just friggen hard sometimes.

And I need to talk through it or it drives me even more insane.

I just need to breathe. I need a break. Not from my kids, not from my husband...just a lucky break.

Idk. Just keep praying I guess. It will all turn around eventually I suppose.

I honestly have lost track of days on the Capture Your Grief project. But I did know that today's theme was Sounds Smells and Seasons.

I don't know if I really followed the theme, but here is the photo I shared and what I wrote:

Day 20 something. Sounds, Seasons and Scents.

I only had one major holiday with Elijah. 

It was July 4th, which I didn't celebrate with him because he was too little to bring to the fireworks.

Last year we were supposed to be celebrating Elijah's first Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Instead we ended up mourning all of the holidays we will now spend without him.

We honored Elijah and all the other children in Heaven by displaying a Holiday Remembrance Tree.

Now that we have moved, I am searching for a new place and a newer and bigger tree.

I know I have really fallen behind on everything else lately, but this something I really don't want to miss out on this year. 

As the holiday season is drawing closer, please know that I am praying for all of you spending the holidays without your child. Tree or not, I will remember Elijah and all the other sweet children in Heaven always.

Big hugs.
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Like I asked earlier, please just keep praying. Pray for our world. Pray for my family. Pray for me. And always always pray for my sweet Elijah.

Thank you.


Hi my sweet boy.
Hi my sunflower 
Hi my Elijah.
Shine down on me.
I really need you.
I love and miss you
Always 
<3

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