Busy. Busy. Busy.
I have to keep busy to keep my mind from going quiet, for it is in the quiet moments where grief sneaks in and kicks me down, steals my joy, and breaks my heart.
I woke up with a headache this morning from practically crying myself to sleep last night.
I miss my son. I miss my dog. Both should have lived longer and fuller lives. It is not fair.
But last night, in the midst of all my heartache and pain, I had a realization. I have been putting off things. I have been letting things slide. I have been wasting time. And that is the last thing I want to do.
So I booked a hotel at the Grand Canyon for March for my family and I.
I haven't paid for it yet, and I have until March to cancel without being charged.
But life is not promised, and we should really do more of the things we want to do. Going to the Grand Canyon is doable. I can make it happen. So I will. And I will do it for both Elijah and for O.P.
Today I worked a lot on my It Works Distributor goals and tried to stay positive.
I had a friend message me and tomorrow I am going to go to her house and help her decide which products are going to be best for her.
I talked to Kimmy at The Boom Box and I will be setting up a little info table each class just to keep the information fresh and on all my classmate's brains each class. If they see it, they will think about it. And maybe I can help some of them on their weight loss journey.
Then we also released a new product today which has a lot of people excited, so that helps too
http://kellyairhart.myitworks.com/shop/product/331/
But anyways, the point is. I haven't given up. I am going to make this happen somehow.
I am also working on my poem book and this morning I added a poem for Opie.
(Okay, in the middle of this blog I had to run out for a moment and help the boys try and build a bonfire. Which didn't work because the sticks were all wet from the rain yesterday. But we gave it our best shot).
Tomorrow I am going to start brainstorming ways to make the The Love, Elijah Project "better" and I will also be starting to update the webpage.
I am going to sit down with my planner too and designate specific times to all of these projects to help me more successful and not burn out.
And of course there is the kids schooling tied into all of this.
Just trying to stay busy...because busy is the only way I can survive.
Well, I just finished my dinner and I am going to make myself a little treat of warm vanilla pudding <3 I feel like an official old lady.
Please keep praying for my Opie and add my brother and dad to your prayer list too since they took care of Opie for me.
Pray for our world. Pray for my family. Pray for me. And always alway pray for my sweet Elijah.
We are back to the last picture I ever took of you,
which means I will start over again tomorrow.
I will never not post your picture if I am able.
I can't go a day without seeing your sweet face.
I love and miss you so much.
Hope you and Opie have found each other and our having a blast!
Tell him I love and miss him too.
<3
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