627: Counseling Again...

It is 9:52pm.

Well, I went to see the counselor today. And even though I basically just told her what was going on with everything in my whole entire lifetime, and heard her say we would put together a plan... it still felt pretty good to talk to someone.

I am in a six month program now that will allow me to see a therapist and a doctor, so I will have a support team that will hopefully help me out of this funk and set me in the direction I need to go.

And while that is fantastic news today has been a stressful day.

I have found that one thing that triggers my rage is sudden change...or I guess I should say change without notice.

Like people moving my things or touching my things without asking sends me into emotional turmoil. And I'm not really even that big of a materialistic person.

I am guessing the sudden change part stems from Elijah's death being so sudden???

And maybe the freaking out about my stuff is a personal identity thing...Like this is my stuff and my space, and I need it to just be left alone because I don't have much else going for me...

I don't know. I guess that is why I am back in counseling.

Anyways I am going to bed. The electricity is playing games with us and keeps turning on and off. Better post my blog and Elijah's pic before it decides to go out again.

Good night everyone. Sending you all love.

Please keep praying for our world. Pray for our country. Pray for my family. Pray for me. Pray for you! And always always pray for my sweet Elijah.

And please don't forget Elijah's birthday is this coming Monday, June 5th! We really want a big response and lots of people spreading love for his birthday. You can share your acts of kindness for Elijah by tagging Levi or myself on facebook or using the hashtag #loveelijah.

Thank you.

I love and miss you so much Elijah.

Always and forever.

It almost looks like you are smiling at Julien in this picture.

We all miss you so much.

Shine down on us my boogie.

<3