With my nomadic lifestyle lately, I thought that returning to a 5am wake up time would be difficult. And after about 20 minutes of mind numbing Facebook scrolling this morning, I proved myself wrong by getting out of bed, doing some yoga and morning meditation before I helped Levi get some stuff out of his car and send him back off to Shreveport.
Then, honestly for a few minutes, I did kind of meander through some YouTube nonsense about Chester Bennington as I was looking for the full tribute from MTV last night. If anyone finds that, please let me know because I would love to see it. Thanks!
Anyways, I took my pain meds this morning, but it is the first morning of straight up cold turkey stopping muscle relaxers--for I guess what is forever? I don't know. But I don't have any refills. I haven't talked about my arm pain in a while, because I really don't want it to take over my life anymore than it already has...but it is still there.
Today I have physical therapy, and I also have this really cool neck expansion pillow thing that seems to be helping as well. So I hope that with both of these things going for me I will begin to heal soon, because it really sucks not being able to have full use of my arm. Especially when I have such active children.
Anyways, I have some lingering funk hanging over me right now--but my intentions for this day are to be relaxed and purposeful, so that is what I am working towards. Funk be gone lol.
Hope you guys have a beautiful and purposeful day as well. Sending you all sunshine because I know we could all use some. And don't forget to send some extra sunshine to all those affected by this Hurricane.
Please continue to pray for our world. Pray for our country. Pray for our families. Pray for ourselves. And always always pray for my sweet Elijah!
Thank you.
As we move closer to this horrible date that stole you from us,
I don't know how I should feel anymore.
Of course I know you want us to be happy,
our lives are so much more fulfilling because of you.
However, at the same time I cannot deny that I feel extremely guilty at times
for feeling so happy when you are not here to share in that happiness.
I just miss you and have a hard time trusting why any of this is "fair."
I will just have to push myself to continue to do great things in your name--
no matter how small those great things feel right now.
Oh the rollercoaster of emotions.
I don't know.
I just love and miss you so much.
Always.
<3
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