755: Almost Home

It is 8:45pm

Oh my gosh. It feels like 2am. These meds I am on make me so tired...

Today we drew up plans for our bus conversion into a complete tiny home.

I am really excited, but have no idea how or where to start. We don't really have the money to shell out on a contractor, but we might have to get someone to at least help us with some frame work. Or to show us how to do it. We are willing to do the work, we just don't know how lol.

We might also have to have someone help us with plumbing/or tank set up...

It is a bit overwhelming, but also really exciting. I can't wait to see it all done.

I'm keeping this blog short because my shoulder/arm are killing me tonight and I want to still type out some more info on pregnancy and infant loss in observation of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.

Again, the following is from a brochure from The Compassionate Friends about Stillbirth, Miscarriage, and Infant Death:

"Grief can last far longer than you or others may expect and has many ups and downs. The first year can be especially difficult when parents torment themselves with painful questions and statements such as the following:

- Why did this happen to my baby, my child?
- Why did this happen to our family?
- Why didn't I know something was wrong?
- Why didn't I go to a doctor sooner?
- It's all my fault!
- If only....

There may be no adequate responses or satisfying answers to these statements and questions. Be aware that anger and guilt are common reactions and usually accompany grief. Try to share and express these feelings as a way to release them."

Alright guys. It is time for me to rest my arm. Sending you all lots of love and peaceful dreams.

Please keep praying for our world. Pray for our country. Pray for our families. Pray for our hearts. Pray for our minds. Pray for our souls. Pray for you. Pray for me. And always always pray for my sweet Elijah.

Thank you

A home is all I ever wanted for you.

I hate that I never really gave you one.

I hope you will accept what we have now as our sacred space...

until we meet again.

I love and miss you so much.

Always.

<3