Mother's Log. Day 940 without Elijah. I'm in the middle of purging (aka cleaning the bus), and it is exhausting.
How on earth do we keep accumulating so much stuff? Also, I think that I have swept up enough fur to assemble another dog. I have bags upon bags and really need to finish this "homeless" mat I started for Christmas as an act of kindness, and did I mention the stuff?
This morning I woke up and did some work on myself. Set intentions, offered up surrender, and wrote out affirmations. Then I was reminded that I needed to eat and take vitamins--so I did.
My eating habits need to get better. I have to start loving myself more than junk food and Dr. Pepper. I need to walk again, but with Levi and Alex gone, I don't feel comfortable leaving Gabriel and Julien by themselves for an hour, nor do they want to go on a 9-10 mile walk with me--so I guess for now cleaning the bus is my exercise--I just don't enjoy it as much lol.
Last night I finished watching The Kindness Diaries on Netflix and was so inspired. I truly loved that Julien watched it with me and seemed to enjoy it too.
Today I told the boys we were having a quiet day, and if they can get through the day without raising their voice above the sound of my music, then they will get a special surprise at the end of the day. I did this, not because I want them to always be quiet or lose their wild ways, but sometimes quiet is calming. They tend to have an overwhelming amount of energy and it overtakes them. Some self discipline might help them learn to harness that energy and find peace.
I have no real idea what the "surprise" might be, but it needs to be something they are pleased with if I ever want this to work again lol.
We have a few more hours before I call it a complete success, but I think them being this quiet this long is actually worth rewarding whether they make it the whole time or not.
Book presales are moving slowly, but I am not worrying. I have confidence that I am on the right path. I do need to update my webpage, and am so happy Alex will be back tomorrow to help with that.
Alright, back to cleaning. Does anyone else create bigger messes than the original when they clean or is that just me?
Sending you all lots of love! Follow your dreams. Have a beautiful day.
Go change the world. Do it for Elijah!
Thank you.
Oh sweet sweet boy.
I might be moving slowly,
but I have not stopped.
I love and miss you so so much
Always.
<3
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