This morning my body woke up as the sun was rising and so I got up and took a walk. I love walking. I am kind of upset with myself that I never did my walk across America. I let other people's worries and judgements stop me. Well, that and our lives kind of fell apart and we had to leave Florida, so I guess that kind of didn't help either.
When I was "training" to walk across country. I was walking up to 3 hours a day. I LOVED the neighborhoods I was walking through. I felt so at home and alive there.
I also felt such a drive to walk then, because I was going to do something so big and so crazy, and I truly believed that it would be the thing that would get us a house. Which I guess might seem like a "cop out" to some--like I should be "working" instead of walking, but I promise you that walking across country would be a lot of work lol. And we weren't only going to do it for us. We were going to raise awareness for homelessness-- which is a huge deal in Orlando (and many many other places).
I know all of that is in the past and I am trying to practice more gratitude for the walks I have here. There are some nice things like finding blackberries and seeing rabbits scamper into the woods. I know it is important to be thankful. I am thankful, I just miss Florida and the way it felt knowing that I was going to walk across America.
I am still trying to make sense of why we are here. I know that being back in Louisiana has been good for Levi because he found a gym that would support him and get him into fights, but we have been struggling so badly financially lately that he is having to miss out on the gym, and when he does get to go, we have to live apart-- so it still burns like a fire in my chest that we are not where we are meant to be.
I'm not saying that Florida has all the answers, and we are really the only one who can "find our answers." I just feel restless this morning. My feet are ready to walk a million miles. My heart is ready to run further. I want to just go until we feel at home somewhere. I just want so much for us, so I guess it is time to start finding away to make it happen.
I will still walk across America someday--who knows, maybe soon. I truly love walking. That is why I thought it was the answer in the first place, just not sure my whole family wants to take off 6 months of their lives to walk with me or sit in a car next to me as I walk lol.
Blahhh....
The kids will be up soon and we have learning to do. So right now, I need to get to work on my Elijah S.M.I.L.E.S. campaign. I am contacting a lady about promotional videos today and need to start working on youtube videos. I am also trying to put together a summer schedule for my Kindness Rocks in Natchitoches rock painting group by reaching out to different organizations around town, but haven't heard back from anyone other than the library. So I am going to have to make some phone calls. I can do this. I can do this. I am doing this.
Sending you all lots of love. Have a beautiful day. Go out there and change the world for Elijah. <3
Thank you!
Oh sweet boy. I love and miss you so much.
Always.
<3
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