We are still in our current rental. We have not moved out--not yet anyway.
I am happy to not be homeless, and the landlord finally did something about the AC/Heater yesterday, but I am still avidly searching for a new place to call home. Maybe it will happen soon. I guess only time will tell...or I could just break down and buy an old RV with my tax return and turn my family into a van full of hippies...we shall see.
I announced the pregnancy of our 4th child. Wow. 4. You know 4 is not a lot when it comes to eating skittles, but when you have 4 kids it seems like you are going to be the next family lined up to do a TLC show. It's definitely going to be a wild ride, but I have accepted it and decided that there is no reason we shouldn't be happy about it. (Oh yeah, and pregnancy has made Captain Crunch my food of choice. I'm seriously hoping that there is some nutritional value there, because I eat it all day everyday.)
Also, as stated in my New Year's resolutions in an earlier blog, I am working hard this month to finish writing my Children's book, "The Kind Knight."
I've actually been working on this book for over 8 months now...mostly passively.
There is a lot of hard work that goes into writing a book, no matter how short or simple the subject matter.
It is especially hard when you have 3 children, and a full time job. Plus, no matter how confident I can be in my artistic abilities, a lot of times I tend to doubt myself and my actual writing abilities--making it hard to just sit down and do it.
I am going to borrow a quote from a book I am currently reading, written by one of my current idols, Amy Poehler. The book is called "Yes Please," and in the introduction Amy talks the whole time about how hard it was for her to write her book. While reading her words I felt very connected with Amy, and I totally agreed with her on just how hard the book writing process is-- but this was the quote that kept me going (it's a really long quote--actually it's more like a page than a quote, but it's good, I promise):
"So what do I do? What do we do? How do we move forward when we are tired and afraid? What do we do when the voice in our head is yelling that WE ARE NEVER GOING TO MAKE IT? How do we drag ourselves through the muck when our brain is telling us youaredumbandyouwillneverfinishandnoonecaresanditstimeyoustop?
Well, the first thing we do is take our brain out and put it in a drawer. Stick it somewhere and let it tantrum until it wears itself out. You may still hear the brain and all the shitty things it is saying to you, but it will be muffled, and just the fact that it is not in your head anymore will make things seem clearer. And then you just do it. You just dig in and write it. You use your body. You lean over the computer and stretch and pace. You write and then cook something and write some more. You put your hand on your heart and feel it beating and decide if what you wrote feels true. You do it because the doing of it is the thing. The doing is the thing. The talking and worrying is not the thing. That is what I know. Writing books is about writing the book.
So here we go, you and me. Because what else are we going to do? Say no to an opportunity that maybe slightly out of our comfort zone? Quiet our voice because we are worried it is not perfect? I believe great people do things before they are ready. This is America and I am allowed to have healthy self-esteem. This book comes straight from my feisty and freckled fingers. Know it was a battle. Know that blood was shed. A war raged between my jokey and protective brain and my squishy and tender heart. I have realized that mystery is what keeps people away, and I've grown tired of smoke and mirrors. I yearn for the clean, well-lighted place. So let's peek behind the curtain and hail the others like us. The open-faced sandwiches who take risks and live big and smile with all of their teeth. These are the people I want to be around. This is the honest way I want to live and love and write."
So now that Amy Poehler wrote over half of my blog today, I am going to get back to work on my book.
I have made some progress this week. I managed to get 11 pages done in the last 4 days--which doesn't sound like much, but it is a lot of work. And I have to admit, I am pretty proud of that!
Thanks always for reading!
Be Kind,
Kelly Airhart
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