another dream.

It is 6:27.

The boys are swimming.

Sometimes I forget that living in Florida has its perks.

Swimming is great for them. It sucks their energy out and it also calms them down.

I am listening to oldies on Pandora.

I used to listen to this station when I was pregnant with Elijah and after he was born and we were still staying with my mom.

It is a little comforting to hear these songs, but at the same time it makes me just miss him that much more.

Last night I had another dream about a baby.

I don't know if it was Elijah because I never saw his face, but I'd like to think it was him.

All I can remember is changing a poopy diaper.

I don't ever believe these dream interpretation sites, but sometimes it is interesting to see what they have to say.

The one I looked up today said either I am longing to take care of a baby or I Will be rich soon lol.

P.S. I have never had a dream about myself having a soiled diaper...that just came with the search. 

Anyways, today I donated some items to toys for tots in Elijah's memory and also for a little boy who is in heaven that I read about in a facebook post. 

It was a peaceful feeling.

The acts of kindness help. 

Love, Elijah helps a lot too.

I just wish I had more time for both of those things. Tomorrow I go back to work and then my work schedule is all over the place. 

I am afraid I am going to fall behind.

I am supposed to get my official status of non-profit for Love, Elijah soon. Maybe I'll find a grant that will help me run it at least part time...not really sure how that works. I've got a lot of research to do.

Well the sun is starting to slowly slip away. It is time to get the boys out of the pool and into a warm bath.

Elijah,

Today has been a little more peaceful than the other days prior to your passing. But I still miss you and think of you. I looked at pictures of your brothers growing up and realize that you will never get to have that with us. You will always be my perfect baby. And I will hold every memory and picture of you dear to me. When we finally get a home, I will post your photo in every room to remind us that you are still part of this family. 

You will always be part of this family.

I love you my boogey.