http://www.lyricsreg.com/lyrics/sara+bareilles/She+Used+To+Be+Mine/
Replace the bad man with death and this song fits me.
I try hard to continue to be kind, but it's mainly for Elijah now. Most of the time I just feel like a shell of the girl I used to be.
Don't tell me I will ever be the same, because I won't.
I miss him so much, and I miss being his mom in the physical sense. I know I will always be his mom. He will always be my baby. None of it happened the way I thought it should.
I feel hopeless sometimes knowing that it will be such a long time before I see him again.
Nothing ever feels right. I still smile and laugh but he is missing from me and it hurts....God it hurts.
Sorry. I just don't understand why this had to happen to him.
I never stop worrying about him either. I ask other people to pray for him because praying scares me. Its not logical, I know, but nothing about anything makes sense anymore.
I don't know. I'm not giving up because I have Levi and my other boys. I'm also not giving up because I have to keep Elijah's name alive and make him proud.
Oh little Elijah. I will never understand why. I just know that I miss you more and more daily. I will make it through life, I always find a way. I don't want you to worry about me. I love and miss you so much. So so so much.
"
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